Home of the 15th STB UMT

A friend and I were running for the first time together. After our workout, we stopped to talk for a few minutes. I knew he and his wife didn't have any kids, so they were somewhat in the same place as my wife and me. During the conversation, he paused as if trying to remember something, then questioned, "You guys don't have any kids, do you?" asking the question more to confirm what he already knew.

I responded, "no, not quite yet."

"You two should come over for dinner some time."

"What, you wouldn't invite us over if we had kids?" I half joked.

"No, No, that's not what I meant... it's just whenever we invite people with kids over to our house, they always say, 'No.'"

I backed off from my partial attack, thinking over all the excuses people have given during times we've invited people with kids over to eat.

Lone Rangers

In the hit movie Cast Away (2000), Tom Hanks character is marooned alone on an island after a plane crash. He spends years of his life alone, with very little other than a few reminders of a former life and a bit of hope to keep him sane. He eventually longed for community so much, he created personalities for a few inanimate objects just to relate to others.

We all need to relate to others. Fitting into a community gives a place for others to know us. Apart from being marooned alone on an island, we need to seek community of people around us, whatever life phase we're in, with kids or without, married or single. Community grounds us into reality. Two of the strongest driving forces for people encompasses relationships: the search for significance and a sense of security. While I believe a relationship with God is the only way to fully meet these needs, people, through community, offer a valuable means by which we can both give and receive these needs.*

For many, community is second nature, rarely would a day go by without involvement in a community event or a phone call affirming a role in community. For people in this situation, it may be time to stretch out and invite those who aren't as involved. Without being harassing or disrespectful, invite others to join the community. How do you know when to invite people? Just follow your people instinct. The key idea is don't forget to include others.

Take Action

Community is found in many places. The first place many people explore community is within the home. Families represent a community which can not be chosen, per se, and is a constant of life. Other common communities are workgroups (units, sections, etc.), chapel or church groups, or friends comprised of any of these. A small and well woven group can not be substituted.

Loneliness consistently plays a role in depression and must be dealt with seriously. If professional help is needed, Contact Us for pastoral counseling, visit the Online help for a few sites which may assist, or the Offline help page for local referrals.