Suicide
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Statistics on suicide, suicide awareness classes, and other shocking words regarding suicide do not communicate loud enough the pandemic of suicide. Suicide has long been held in our culture as a taboo, or even something which is contagious. However, it is unfortunately normal to be personally touched or know of someone who has completed suicide. For many, the option of suicide continues to be a permanent solution for a temporary problem. There is no absolute predisposition to suicide, and therefore, no one is completely predisposed to complete suicide. If however, someone has many of the factors indicating suicide as an option, the predisposition is obviously higher. However, not everyone who completes suicide gives forewarning. Unfortunately, countless cases recall a healthy individual who encounters an acute incident which begins the desperate measure of suicide. For anyone whose loved one has completed suicide, it is a difficult road. Survivors Those who have lost loved ones to suicide know well the shame typically felt regarding the loss. Coping with the loss is multiplied enormously by this added cultural pressure. Further, as previously mentioned, there are those who act as though suicide is contagious, and being with the survivors could somehow cause injury. Similarly, many people do not know how to relate to the survivors and thus, avoid contact altogether. Sadly, these reactions are exactly opposite of what those close to the victim need during the difficult time. Simply being with them, not offering advice, guilt, or a platitude, but a cup of coffee will assist tremendously through the grieving process. Like other losses, listen to the survivors recall stories of the loved one. Remember, the grief process does not have a "completed by" date, it will likely last a long time. Hope Daily coping with a suicide, even through the cultural problems is, however, possible. While moving into seclusion may temporarily feel good, it is critical to keep open the various venues of relationships and community, recognizing some may not know how to respond to the loss. Practically, these relationships should fulfill some of the needs associated with the loss. It is also normal to feel anger toward the loved one. Being a survivor often exhibits feelings which communicate help offered would have been of no use. This is not limited to completed suicides, but to attempted suicides as well. Thus, coping with feelings of anger combined with constant reminders of the loss remains difficult but possible. Although difficult, relinquishing the very real right to be angry and giving undeserved forgiveness affords great release of responsibility. Spiritually, the relinquishing process allows God to take responsibility of the situation. Spiritual health relies on recognizing God's sovereign place, and although it may seem dangerous, being angry at God is not only normal, it is shown over and over in the Bible. Throughout the Psalms, the writers pen angry why questions at God, yet God never denies peace. Further, divine presence never leaves due to feelings of anger. God simply draws more close even in the middle of difficulty (Deuteronomy 31:6,8; Joshua 1:5; Hebrews 13:5). It may feel like God has disappeared, but realize normal people have faced absolute crisis situations without feeling God, and rather, trusted God's sovereignty through simple faith. Often, people speculate whether a true Christian believer can complete suicide. In short, yes. This possibility exists due to the fact that Christianity is relationship based. If, for instance, a loved one made one mistake, would you banish them from your sight forever? I hope not. How much more so with God, who paid a great price to establish relationship with us. People have impaired judgment at times, and depression can affect even the strongest of Christians. Although suicide is wrong, God's grace through Jesus Christ is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12). |
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